“So who’s drinking the tea?” The Conducting Master (the Abbot) thrust the question at us at the start of 2009’s spring Seven-Day Meditation Retreat—an assignment that we had to contemplate on, in my second attempt to find the Bodhi Mind.
My first Chan-7 in 2007 was beset by sleepiness, excruciating pain in the legs, and non-stop thoughts. To say the least, the whole experience was dismal, at the same time, traumatic. I remember asking myself in the middle of that retreat, “What have I gotten myself into?”
2009’s Chan-7 seemed like it was going to proceed the same way, only this time, no more sleepiness. I made sure that I followed the Grandmaster’s, Abbot’s and Vice Abbot’s Dharma talks to the letter, for they served as the foundation of the whole retreat and the backbone of my practice. Their words of wisdom guided, encouraged and helped me stay on the right track. The Conducting Master emphasized the breath counting method followed by the Middle Way Reality method.
So, every sitting period, I would religiously count my exhalation; often defeated by the pain in my legs, or sidetracked by busy thoughts. Finally, on the 4th day, during the 8am sitting, after counting breaths for some time, it suddenly hit me!—an aura of calmness descended upon me; my whole being became so still, but my mind was very lucid and clear—no ripples of thoughts, no traffic of ideas and having full awareness of the sounds and movements around me. Sitting there was just so natural that I did not even mind the numbness in my legs. THAT was the start of several “good incenses” of sitting, so to speak.
I am eternally grateful to all the people who made my Chan-7 experience so meaningful—to all the volunteers who toiled behind the scenes, making sure that our retreat was so orderly and comfortable; to all the supervising masters who were so patient and hardworking; to all the masters in the kitchen, for the timely sustenance; to the Abbot and Vice Abbot, for their words of wisdom; and to the Grandmaster, for his vision and compassion.
So, who’s drinking the tea? At the end of seven days of backbreaking sitting, I guess it’s easy to answer—it is this PURE MIND that’s drinking the tea. To fully realize this pure mind, I will have to let go of so many attachments, cravings, and delusions in order to come to rest on this pure mind, this thing called Bodhi or Nirvana. Now, the real work begins.